Fission Girl — The Half-Life Heroine

The Adventures of

When communist aliens threaten the Earth with deadly radiation, whose red, white and blue lead apron stands in their way? Fission Girl, that's who.

From her secret headquarters in the Gamma Compound, the Half-Life Heroine defends the nuclear family with her faithful robot maid, Marie. And when Fission Girl needs help, she calls on you.

Become a Fission Ranger Set Your Decoder Ring

Stand by for an important message from the Gamma Compound

Fission Girl in her space suit, helmet under her arm, beside a small tracked robot.

Fission Rangers, set your rings

The Gamma Compound Decoder Ring

At the end of every adventure, Fission Girl transmits a top-secret communication in numbers. Write them down, then turn the ring. Every number is a letter. Every letter brings Marie a little closer to home.

65A

Numbers from the broadcast

Decoded message

— — —

Need practice? Try a past transmission:

Live transmission: “Justice for Marie,” episode 19-VListen, write down the numbers, then turn the ring. Fission Girl doesn't repeat herself.

Know your enemy

The Rogues' Gallery

Captain Carcinogen

Cutthroat. Once stole Fission Girl's top-secret shipment of beryllium and took Marie with it.

Kaiser Moto

Keeper of mutated two-headed crocodiles and radioactive crops. Has threatened to terminate Marie forever.

The Space Krill of Crustacea 4

Giant. Numerous. Not to be confused with any seafood product sold in a bright green can.

The Greys

Fission Girl will not discuss the Greys on the air.

Allies: Faithful Marie, robot maid and frequent hostage. Flash Nebraska, the sheriff on Saturn, who doesn't yet see the point in getting all wound up over a pile of gears.

Official Fission Ranger equipment

Ranger Premiums

Ultra Uranium Yo-Yo

Hypersonic spinning action and a green glow that lets you practice after dark. Turn your around-the-world into a Fission Girl-approved nuclear ICBM.

Hear the spot · 0:59

Vectro Scan

A replica of her favorite weapon, complete with a real working Geiger counter, a signed letter of instructions and the number of the National Radiation Hotline. As Fission Girl would say, “That sure is glowy.”

Omega-O's

Made with irradiated wheat. Loaded with all the vitamins, minerals and heavy elements you need to grow up big and strong. The only cereal endorsed by Fission Girl.

Out here in the real world: we're considering real Fission Ranger gear: shirts, mugs and a decoder ring you can hold. Want first word if it happens?

Do you have what it takes?

Enlist in the Fission Rangers

Rangers receive word of new adventures, new transmissions to decode, and new ways to help the Half-Life Heroine save the day.